The life of every individual, according to the Hindu scriptures, has its peculiar duties apart from what belongs in common to universal humanity.
The Hindu begins his life as a student; then he marries and becomes a householder; in old age he retires and lastly he gives up the world and become a Sanyasin.
I am pleasantly surprised to read Swami Vivekanand’s rules on how a wife should be treated by the householder.
Surprised, because in today’s world, I’ve come across several Sadhus, Sants, and Religious leaders, who form rules upon rules of how a woman and a wife should behave and do her duties dutifully without any questions. None of them ever even mention of how the man, the husband and father should be completing his duties.
This particular paragraph is taken from the book, “Complete book of yoga”, page 29-32
The duties of the householder, according to Swami Vivekanand;
Knowing that the mother and father are the visible representatives of God, the householder must please them. Before them he must bow down, not show anger, and stand up in their presence.
… If the householder has food, drink, clothes without first seeing that his parents, his children, his wife, and the poor are supplied, he is committing a sin. The parents are the causes for this body, so a man must undergo a thousand troubles in order to do them good.
Even so his duty to his wife; no man should scold his wife, and even in the greatest difficulties and troubles he must not show anger to his wife.The householder must always please his wife with money, clothes, love, faith, and words like nectar, and never do anything to disturb her.
He who thinks of another woman besides his wife, if he touches her even with his mind, that man goes to dark hell.
Before women he must not talk improper language, and never brag of his powers.
The householder must speak the truth and speak gently.
The householder is the basis, the prop of the whole society; he is the principal earner. The poor, the weak, the children, and the women who do not wok – all live upon the householder; so there must be certain duties he has to perform. He must struggle hard to acquire, first knowledge and then wealth. It is his duty; and if he does not struggle to get wealth, he is immoral. If he is lazy and content to lead an idle life, he is immoral, because upon him depend hundreds. This wealth is for distribution
He, by digging tanks, by planting trees, by establishing rest houses for men and animals, by making roads, building bridges goes towards the same goal as the greatest Yogi…
Swami Vivekanand is very well known all over the world. If interested, details on him can be read on: